Sunday, February 24, 2013

Have you ever....

Ever had those days were nothing seemed to go right? Or the day when everything seemed out of place? Maybe the day when your to do list was longer than the time you have to accomplish it? Perhaps even a day when the comfort of your bed seemed to hold more promise than getting up and tackling the day. When you have more questions that answers. When it feels as though even breathing take too much effort. When the darkness seems to speak louder than the light.
If not, you won't understand where I've been the last few weeks. 

I can't sugar coat the darkness I've found myself sinking into. It's a difficult place. I went through a severe depression a few years ago. And recently I found myself feeling the way I was back then. Not as bad. And this time around I recognized some symptoms. It's no secret that I have a therapist I see on a regular basis. She can get to the very heart of the matter like no one else in my life. I trust her. So when she brought up the subject of maybe needing to add some medication back into my life (I have been off meds for about 4 1/2 years), I couldn't overlook the possibility. Because of what I've been through before, I knew that I wanted to begin dealing with this before it got out of hand. So once again, I find myself at the pharmacy. And it's ok.

I know that many people choose not to cover the topic of depression in a public venue, but this is my life. I'm just being honest. I'm aware that I'm not the only person in this world that battles with depression. It occurs more often that we care to admit. Being equipped with meds and a great therapist that has my back, I have reason to believe that my days won't be this dark for long. In reality, things are looking up at this point. It's been a few weeks since starting the meds and increasing my appointments. Amazing what happens when you have the right resources for you. I'm not saying that everyone who is depressed needs meds or even a therapist. It's what works for me. I'm working on it. One matter at a time, even though I try to cram several things together.

I haven't been in the right frame of mind lately to blog. Or even read many blogs. I've missed it. So as I told a blog reader (HI TISH!) this is my week. I'm hoping to get several post caught up and plugged in. What better way to jump back into this with both feet than a giveaway. I'll be announcing a fabulous giveaway on Friday. So come on back y'all.
I honestly can't tell you how grateful I am for this community. Y'all have been so sweet to call, text, tweet, message, or pray for me the past few months and I can't say thanks enough.


  1. I agree Cyndi.. too many people are ashamed to admit they have depression issues. Its our human nature to try to want to fix everything "on our own". I admire you for being so open. You never know who you might influence! Press on girl! :)

  2. AS someone who has suffered with depression/anxiety since I was 16 (now 54), I appreciate and am very proud of you for your honesty and willingness to so what is right for you. I, too, have had instances where I would be off the meds, but it would not last over 3-4 years. I just realize that I never want it to get to that dark, dark place that almost envelopes you and pulls you in like being in quicksand.
    I am taking my meds, but have not found a therapist. My family doctor has been with me through these times and know when I have to be back on meds.
    Thanks Cyndi for standing up for all of us!

  3. Thanks so much for sharing your heart. I also struggle with depression and have never taken medication but I am finally looking into it. Is there one kind you would recommend over another?
    Praying the darkness will lift for you and that you will experience great joy and peace!