Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Reaching out

Hi. My name is Cyndi. I work in Labor and Delivery at night and am a nanny to two incredible kids by day. I'm a friend, daughter, sister. I'm also fun, love taking pictures, and living life. Unfortunately, I'm overweight and in need of a lifestyle change. I feel as though I've tried it all. Read the best books, prayed the right prayers, watched the most motivational videos, and tried the craziest diets. Yep, I've tried. But then again, have I? I recently began to seriously consider gastric surgery. I've always said that I would never have surgery in order to loose weight. Surgery didn't get me in this place. And yet, this past week I dialed the number to the best surgeon in my area. I hung up. Couldn't do it. And why couldn't I. I know that insurance would approve it and I could make payments on the rest. Why wont I just do it? Because I honestly know that I'm not mentally prepared for surgery. I want to do it on my own. I really do. But I'm afraid of what that's going to cost me. I'm scared of how loosing weight will affect me. Not physically, because I know that it would only benefit me. It's all the other "issues" I have. Still, I want to press forward. So I am asking any and all of you four people that read my blog to help keep me accountable for the next 30 days. I bought the 30-day jump start book by The Biggest Loser. I want to give these next 30 days my best. But, because I know me, I'm only focusing on 1 week at a time. Only planning meals and exercise times for one week. And then at the end of the week, planning for the next one. I love reading things about weight loss. I especially love other people's stories that have struggled with the same thing I struggle with. I'm obsessed with The Biggest Loser. I mean, hello, I tried out for season 12! Hannah and Olivia are on the cover of September's Fitness magazine. Love some things that they shared:
Secret #1- You deserve to be in great shape. Hannah says "I deserved to be happy." Olivia said "Exercising is my me-time, and I've learned that that's not selfish at all."
Secret #2- Stop being so hard on yourself. There is power in setting small, manageable goals. Believing that you can do something will make you actually do it.
Secret #3- You don't have to spend hours in the gym.
Secret #4- Eat more, not less. And ditch the deprivation diet.
Secret #5- Ask for what you want. There has to be flexibility in both your diet and your exercise routine or you'll \never be able to sustain them for the rest of your life.
Secret #6- Do the write thing.
Olivia said "Always be yourself, because everyone else is taken." Jillian Michaels would tell her that.
I also happen to LOVE Mandisa and Courtney Crozier (Biggest Loser season 11). They have helped motivated me so much when nothing else could. I've posted before some things that Mandisa suggests. On Courtney's blog, she gave some simple steps she took at the beginning of her journey. No soda. No fast food. 30-day jump start book followed to a T. Moving, moving, and moving. Own your mistakes and keep fighting.
I also know that this battle for me is a spiritual journey as well. I want to want to be whole. Complete. And I can only find that in Jesus Christ. And I struggle with giving Him my all. Daily, it's a fight. As it is for most people. I know that I'm not alone. And I'm reaching out for help. Thanks to all of you who will join me for the next 30 days. Thank you for praying for me. Thank you for being there for me. Simply, thank you.


  1. I will email you tonight...
    Know that no matter what size you are, you are beautiful on the inside and the outside.
    You are gorgeous.
    The hardest part sometimes, as silly as it sounds, is that YOU need to know that and feel it within your bones.
    Once that happens, you will notice the pounds shed. I promise.
    You deserve happiness and all the world has to offer.
    I know it's easy to say for me, but it is true.
    We all go through it...trust me.
    Look in the mirror and see your beauty.
    Be kind to yourself.

  2. Cyndi, I am behind you 100%! I agree totally with GreenGirl. Instead of taking it a week at a time, you need to take 1 day at a time. Believe me, as I am following this journey of a lifetime, I can only take it day by day.
    You are a beautiful person and I know that you want to lose the weight for many reasons. It is a difficult journey, but one that you must be emotionally ready to take.
    My biggest help has been drinking LOTS of water. I occasionally drink unsweetened tea, but I drink over 100 ounces of water a day.
    NEVER let your size define you as a person, because it does not. Dwell on eating healthy, moving every day, drinking your water, and walking daily with the Lord.
    Please know that I am here for you and will help any way I can. You are an awesome friend and incredible person. YOU JUST NEED TO REALIZE THIS!! Love you bunches!

  3. You can do it! I will keep you in my prayers! I will stop by and give you some encoragement! We all need a little help... I am starting my weight loss journey today so maybe we can help each other!!
    By the way I have the same little circle notebook!