Honestly, this has been a difficult week. Between being busy with two kids (one is at church camp), a very busy and chaotic few nights at the hospital, a dear friend having a critical medical emergency, and just other life stuff it's been a challenge to carve out time for my Bible study time. As I have looked back over the week, I realize that this pretty much sums up how I approach God most times. I have 5 min while I'm in the bathroom.....I will do it right after the dishes....I will set my alarm earlier. The list goes on and on. Yet, I have noticed a difference in this week. I have called on the name of Jesus so often. Just in small amounts of time. It wasn't that I sat down and set aside that time. It was calling on His name when things would go through my mind. Once I found out about my friend, I was heart broken and devastated. (As of yesterday my friend is improving, Still in critical condition) I began praying. Several times I would call on names of God that I pleaded Heaven for Him to show Himself to us this week. Comforter, Healer, Peace Giver, Almighty God, Way Maker. I began to recite scriptures that have been hidden in my heart. And if you have read any of my past posts, you may know that this is a huge break through for me. I may not have picked up my Bible study that day, but I felt the Lord's presence. For this I am thankful.
Now, for what I have learned from Lord, I Want to Know You:
"If I live for His will, that is His pleasure, or if I bring Him pleasure, it is because I have done His will.
To miss your purpose is to miss fulfillment. It is to have existed rather than to have lived."
How is my life speaking to bring glory to His name?
So, so, so many times I have struggled with finding the "perfect" answer for this question. I try to do what I think everyone else thinks I should do. As long as I'm doing it "right". Yet, this week I have been shown that there will never be a perfect answer. For I am not perfect. I know for me that letting go of fear and doubts will be a huge part of searching for what God has for me so that I may glorify Him in every aspect of my life.
El Elyon- The Most High. It designates that God as the sovereign ruler of all the universe. "Although we have been given free will, still God so rules and overrules that no person, angel, demon, or devil, nor any circumstances of life, can thwart His plan. "
How can I apply the sovereignty of God to my life?
To know He has all authority. To live my life knowing it's not my own. To surrender myself to the only true God.
El Roi- The God who sees.
I will admit that at times, I can't fathom how God who sees and knows all things still allows bad things to happen. Day 11 of this study has helped answer some questions that I have had for years. As someone who lived in sexual abuse for 9 years of my childhood, I couldn't understand how God could allow it. I've been blessed with incredible people that have spoken truth and life into my life. Even through it all, I still believed that God had a plan. Not knowing what that is has been hard. A couple of statements stood out to me.
"Healing has to be possible. Otherwise, a sovereign God of love would surely have intervened.
Where does healing begin? With the recognition of El Roi, the God who sees. He was awake. He saw it all. After you realize that He sees, you need to now that in His sovereignty He permitted it. Therefore, as horrible and as destructive as it seems, in God's economy, it will be used for good."
By being able to see that while God saw everything, ultimately it's for good. I have been told this several times over the years, allowing it to dig deep into my heart has been refreshing this week.
El Shaddai- The All-Sufficient One
God is everything I have ever needed and so much more.
I am incredibly thankful for the praying body of Christ this week.